Fabas Indulcet Fames
by Ataokoloinona
Summary: He was in the business of saving his own skin and other people just didn't factor into the equation. She was tired of mediocrity and so took her life into her own hands. What's apparant though, is that life has a funny way of throwing people together.
1. Animus

Yes, I know that this is going to be an... unusual story if nothing else. And *gasp*, yes, I know that I gave Tenten a last name but she deserves it. Nobody loves her like she should be loved and I just have an affinity for unorthodox situations and pairings. Even if it's not your thing, it's sure to be entertaining on the way. I'm looking forward to all the hullabaloo. Especially when you find out who I'm pairing her with. Heh, you might even be able to guess, I really hope so, I think it's kind of obvious. Well despite that it's going to be a bumpy ride folks! So buckle up now or forever hold your peace.

And a few more relevant notes before I really begin: 1)Tegatai is Japanese for steady or firm. 2) I am basing the price of Tenten's shampoo on the assumption that one Ryo equals roughly 150 American dollars. The denominations of Ryo are Bu and Shu, but I don't really understand how it all worked, I just know that Japan switched to Yen in the late 1860's. So don't even bother thinking about it, it's not that important, just know that the shampoo is expensive. 3) Yes, that is a real shampoo, costs like thirty-six dollars a bottle too. 4) Arata means fresh or new. She is an OC. 5) I don't know beans about fortune telling.

* * *

She stared morosely as the tarnished pot simmered on the stove. She watched, piqued, as the steam curled from beneath the edges of the lid and writhed up to the ceiling. She sulked as she rose and gave the pot's contents a quick stir and then sat back down. With an angry twist she pulled her hair from their ever present buns, she didn't want to be constrained by anything right now. Absentmindedly she pulled unforgiving fingers through her waist length hair, painfully untangling the unruly mess.

She was not happy, and she didn't completely understand why. She wasn't normally a jealous person, she didn't usually get angry or impatient, but lately she had felt ill at ease. Restless was a better word. Why? She didn't know. She was tired when she hadn't trained, she was angry when nobody had done anything, she was sad when she had no reason to be. She remembered earlier that day when Lee had innocently commented that she seemed to be in a bad mood lately and she had torn his head off; she shouldn't have and she knew she had hurt his feelings and that she had been silly, but right now she just didn't care. And she always cared, she was always considerate. What had gotten into her?

Her life was good, she knew that. She had her own comfortable apartment on the edge of the village. She had enough money saved in the bank to ensure that she would never want for necessities. She had friends, she had a job, she had hobbies; she had all these things but she just wasn't content anymore. She was missing something.

With a sigh she rose from her place at the table and ladled a bowl of stew for herself. She was frugal, she had to be, but she wasn't impoverished. So money wasn't what was wrong. She went on enough missions to ensure that her stomach was always full and that she always had nice clothes on her back. Vanity wasn't what was wrong. The village was currently in a state of peace, Kakashi and Naruto and Shikamaru and all of them returned safely and with success as well. So worry wasn't what was wrong. Really, she had no reason to be depressed.

She twirled her spoon in her bowl, separating all the ingredients and then stirring them back together again. With another sigh she set her spoon down, it was going to get cold but she just wasn't hungry anymore. Instead she watched as the dappled light from the window played on the table top. A few minutes passed silently by when she felt something slick slide down her cheek. Reaching up a finger she caught the droplet and stared at it with mild shock. She was crying? She never cried! Why would she cry when she didn't even know what was wrong in the first place? When there wasn't anything wrong in the first place, she chided herself. She flicked the tear off her finger and buried her head in her arms.

Who was she kidding? Something was seriously wrong with her, but how could she fix it when she didn't understand what was causing it?

Perhaps it was because she was being left behind. For one she was female, and the ratio of men to women was two to one. That was a stone cold fact. For another she was a weapons specialist and she hadn't reached the point where she was truly strong or completely competent. It was hard to master every weapon. If she survived long enough she would be a monster on the battlefield. But now? Now she was struggling to even keep up with Ino. She felt another tear slip from between her clamped eyelids, she slammed her fist on the table. Why was this bothering her now? She had never let adversity bring her down before. But it just seemed like nobody cared, Neji was a prodigy and Lee was Gai-sensei's favorite and where did that leave her? On the outskirts, training by herself unless they weren't 'busy'. That was probably it, she was lonely and lacking. She needed a challenge, she needed somebody to care about her.

Well she wasn't going to get that around here, at least not now, all the promising gennin had been snatched up by mentors already. She did appreciate being able to choose her own path for her life; weapons masters were banned in some countries merely for the fact that they were weak for far longer than other specialists before they became strong, and that they died rather easily. Frankly, in her case she thought it was because nobody told her that she should specialize and not risk her life. Gai-sensei had told her it was risky but had dropped it after she had told him that that was what she wanted to be. The first time! Tsunade had ragged on Sakura for a while before she trained her, and many gennin had their clans to watch over them. Herself? Her mother had died in childbirth and her father was a drunk. She had learned to take care of herself at a very young age. So did that make her bitter? Maybe a little.

Life _wasn't_fair, she knew that, and she had learned that it rarely was for anyone. She wasn't by far a special case, just look at Neji. Maybe that was why she wanted to be a weapons master, if she could reach that point where she was stronger than a single weapon specialist, if she could reach that point where only nine others had made it. If she could climb this mountain than she wouldn't need life to be fair, she wouldn't have to hang on the outskirts and look on the more fortunate with longing. She could make life fair for her by force, that was what power was, the ability to make life whatever you wanted it to be. She was close, she had been training to become a weapons master for nearly five years, and statistically she should have been dead after two. She was so close to that victory that she could taste it, then she would be admired, then somebody would be proud of her. Nobody would notice until she was there, and she was determined to make it. She would make it and nobody would stop her.

Sitting up straight she wiped the tears from her eyes with disdain. Tenten Tegatai did not back down! Standing up she dumped her neglected dinner back into the pot and made her way to the bathroom and a shower. She needed to clear her head and think of something to do. It was obvious that if she wanted to succeed she would have to do it on her own, nobody would help her or do it for her. She was alone in this. A forest was made of trees but each tree stood on it's own. She may be a part of Konoha, her fate may be bound to it's fate, but she was her own tree and she would stand tall and proud on her own. She recalled a quote from a book she had read recently, "Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success." It made a lot more sense to her now. She had to harness her failure and discouragement, not let them bring her down, or overwhelm her. This was only a phase, a pause between two chapters in her life. If she could overcome the apathy others felt towards her than no defeat would ever be so big again.

Her fate was her own, she would define herself. She would create her own opportunities. She would garner her own strength. Others who had gone before her had done the same, she didn't need to be coddled to succeed. She could win by her will alone.

She felt much better now and collected her bath things feeling almost lighthearted. She decided to pamper herself a little, so reaching into the cupboard under the sink she grabbed a bottle of her special shampoo. Typically she used a generic, non-perfumed and cheap shampoo but she always kept a bottle of Kerastase shampoo around. She knew it was scandalous to spend her modest funds on twenty-four Bu bottles of shampoo but it was one of the very few things she indulged herself with. She only used it on special occasions so she rationalized that it was ok to buy it every once in a while.

She let the bathroom fill with steam before she slipped off her clothing and climbed in. Hot water was another luxury she enjoyed from time to time, she liked her showers to burn. Soaping up her body she felt all her stress and tenseness melt away. She just stood there for a few moments letting the hot water pound on her tight back. She really worried too much, it would all work out in the end, for better or worse. She had already come to terms with her probable early demise, so what was feeling neglected and alone to that? She really had been silly. She lathered her hair with relish, it smelled like perfume, lovely and elegant perfume. Sometimes she liked to pretend that she was the beloved daughter of nobles, yeah, she knew it was stupid but dreams were like hope. If you couldn't dream than you really had nothing left.

Letting the water rinse away the rest of the lather she spun under the hot spray and then stepped out of the shower. She thought she knew what she was going to do. She would go on a pilgrimage. To where, she didn't know, but to go somewhere, see something new might knock her out of this slump. If not on a mission she was always confined to the village, she had never even gone on a solo mission. Yet Neji and Lee both had, it really wasn't fair. She could deliver a simple message just as well as any boy, or anyone else for that matter. She didn't like being underestimated, even if she wasn't at the top yet it sure didn't mean she was at the bottom either.

She was feeling tense again, she took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet smell of her shampoo and exhaling again. Getting out of here would be good for a change. She would ask the Hokage, as was proper, but would take her vacation time whether the answer was yea or nay. She had accumulated about two years of down time during the five years she had been a gennin. It was nice for her now because she had never gotten sick or took needless breaks all the time, and now she could reap the reward. She knew for a fact that Shikamaru spent his free days as soon as he got them, it was stupid really, but it made her smile because it was just like him to do something like that.

She pulled on her pajamas and crawled into her little bed, but sleep eluded her. Finally getting back up again she pulled out her travel bag and storage scrolls and decided to pack. Her scrolls were very special, they could hold three times more than the standard issue summoning scrolls one could find in Konoha. Since she was frugal she could afford to buy special things from time to time and on a mission to Marsh Country she had stumbled upon an obscure little shop and had found her treasures. The paper of the scrolls were imbued with a special herb that made the paper absorb chakra like a sponge. Since the paper could be soaked with chakra, when a shinobi transformed objects into energy to be transferred to a scroll, the special scroll could absorb much more of the object energy and therefore hold many more items. That was how her weapon summon scroll worked, if she hadn't spent all those thousands of Ryo on all of the scrolls she wouldn't have her strongest technique. Of course she had been hungry for quite a while afterwards but the scrolls had definitely been worth it. She also never had to worry about what she could and couldn't pack because she could pack away her whole house with those scrolls and still have room to spare in her pack.

She decided to pack a fair amount of her things into the scrolls, enough stuff to warrant her labeling her precious scrolls for once. She wanted to go away for a very long time and she would be comfortable doing it too, it wasn't like they were going to need her for anything anyway. Oh no, they had Naruto and Shikamaru and blah, blah, blah. It wasn't that she didn't like them, she just supposed she was still a little bitter. Sometimes they didn't even remember her name! As if there were so many kunoichi that they could all just forget! Troublesome indeed.

Ok Tenten, just calm down, this is why we are taking a vacation. A very long vacation. I know, we'll go and look at all the daimyo's palaces and maybe some monasteries and then we'll train on some remote beach somewhere... Who was she kidding? She would trek through the wilderness, completely avoid humanity and camp out under the stars every night. Now that was a plan, pure solitude for a time. How long? As long as she could get.

Once again feeling relaxed and calm she went to bed and this time she fell asleep without a problem. She always felt better when she had a definite plan, a goal, it just put things into perspective.

~O~

She woke up the next morning as the sun was just starting to shine into her window, just like she normally did. She buttoned on her shirt and pulled on her pants, the same clothes she normally wore, they had been on sale and so she had bought them in bulk. Separating her hair into two strands she braided them and rolled them into tight buns on the sides of her head, like she normally put up her hair. Then she made a small bowl of rice and steamed two dumplings along with a hot mug of coffee, a breakfast she normally ate.

Today was looking like it would be a good day, she had done all the things that were typical of her, she hadn't thrown a fit or eaten something weird just because she could. She grinned into the rim of her cup, her upcoming vacation must be why she felt so... normal today.

She washed her dishes and cleaned all the counters in her kitchen, if she was leaving she wanted it to be nice for when she came back. She was always a tidy person, even when she was upset she made sure that her home was in order. "Order and simplification are the first steps toward the mastery of a subject." She needed to have a routine and habits so that her mind was clear for more important things, it was just the way she worked. She wasn't very artistic, she knew that, but she thought that the simple and orderly way in which she lived her life was beauty enough for her. She enjoyed beautiful things, but she would never paint a masterpiece or anything like that. Her art came in another form.

Going to her pack she removed all her scrolls and went through them one more time. She had enough clothing for three weeks, she had all her toiletries including all important deodorant and toothpaste, she had her books including the one she had borrowed from Sakura on basic medical jutsus, she had enough imperishable food to feed a small army, and of course she had all her weapons scrolls, it looked like she was ready to go wherever she wanted. Or like she was planning to become a hermit she laughed. And all it weighed was about ten pounds, those scrolls were her most prized possessions for good reason.

Setting her pack back by the door she sat down at her kitchen table and wrote down an official request for a leave of absence. She planned to talk to Tsunade-sama in person, but it was always better to be safe than sorry. Sealing the small scroll she tucked it carefully in her hip pouch and went out into the morning.

~O~

She loved the early mornings, they were always so cool and quiet. It was always easier for her to think in the mornings, she reasoned that it was because nothing had happened yet, so there wasn't any need for her to do anything and instead she could let her mind wander.

She liked the way the sunrise made everything seem so much clearer, the way the light turned the clouds pink and orange. Her favorite color was blue but in the mornings she really couldn't care less because it was all just so beautiful thrown together like it was.

She wasn't in a hurry, she knew she would get what she wanted, so instead of flying along rooftops like she normally would she walked at a sedate pace along the streets. She liked watching as people woke up in the morning, stretching in their doorways and greeting the day. She especially liked watching the shop keepers unlock their doors and pull the security screens from their windows. She would wave to every person she met, it was always important to be polite.

Soon she found herself at the entrance to the Hokage Tower, and taking one last breath of the crisp morning air, she stepped inside.

~O~

Instead of being told to wait, like she had expected when she made her way to the front desk, she found Tsunade-sama herself. She was arguing with the receptionist over something. She stepped quietly forward, but then grinned when she could discern what they were talking about.

"You're not getting it, Arata! Palm reading is a much better way to have your fortune read than tea leaves!"

The receptionist glared at Tsunade-sama and leaned forward aggressively over her desk. "No it isn't! You have lines on your palm from birth, tea leaves are more accurate since they are current!"

"No, palm lines are better because they tell the whole story not just one day from your spit."

The woman, Arata-san was it, threw up her arms in disgust and turned to her instead. Tsunade-sama was grinning in triumph, should she shed a little light on this debate?

"Can I help you this morning dear?"

"What?" She looked up, startled out of her reverie.

The lady grinned at her, "You probably aren't here to listen to us argue all morning, am I right?"

"Well yes, but I'd just like to say that I prefer Tarot cards or bone throwing."

Both Tsunade-sama and Arata-san gaped at her, at then started laughing hysterically.

"Alright, Tenten-chan, and why would that be?"

"Well, different types of readings are good for different types of fortunes and I like Tarot cards because you can ask specific questions, and bone throwing because it's more general. Though tea leaves and palm lines are good too."

"Well, aren't you full of surprises?"

Tenten blushed a little at the seeming compliment, Tsunade-sama was acknowledging her!

She bowed low, "Thank you Tsunade-sama."

"Now none of that, what can I do for you?"

Reaching into her kunai pouch she pulled out her request scroll and handed it to Tsunade-sama. "I would like to request some vacation time if you please Tsunade-sama."

"Oh? Well come with me to my office and we'll discuss it. I'll be back later Arata."

As they walked down the hallway she heard Arata-san say "Damn straight you are!" To be honest she was shocked at the disrespect being shown to Tsunade-sama but when she looked up to see how she had reacted she was grinning not angry.

"We argue all the time, quite a spitfire that Arata is, you should have heard her going on yesterday. Sounded like my mother."

She laughed, she was surprised at herself but it had just slipped out. She looked up again at Tsunade-sama to find her grinning, she really liked this woman. She was strong and smart and she wasn't too aloof to not be able to share a joke; definitely worthy to be her role model and she was very picky about such things.

Tsunade-sama's office was very simple, she would have thought that having such a high office she would have more luxurious furniture at least. But no, there were two bookcases, one on either side of the door, a globe on a stand to one side of the simple desk that sat under the window. She actually liked it more this way than if it had been ornate. She was happy right now, she had never had the honor of being in the Hokage's office. Her respect was growing for Tsunade-sama every minute.

Tsunade-sama sat down into her chair and then leaned her chin on her interlaced fingers. She seemed to regard her for a moment before speaking, unconsciously she stood a little taller and folded her arms behind her back.

"Why do you want to go? This request says that you would like at least two months leave of absence." She indicated the open scroll before her with an inclination of her head. When had she read it much less opened it? She hadn't even noticed, really, Tsunade-sama was the best shinobi around, and a woman too. "This is quite a lot of time for a vacation, is everything alright Tenten-chan?"

She bowed again, stalling a moment for time. What should she say? Would Tsunade-sama understand her need? She thought so. So taking a deep breath she stood upright again.

"I just feel like nobody needs me right now, and I just want some time to myself to think. I want to be stronger and I'm just not finding any help here so I want to travel for a while. I want to see the world, see new things and train in new places. Just for a little while. You understand, don't you?"

She saw Tsunade-sama's eyes soften just a little bit, that was a good sign, wasn't it?

"I remember when I was a gennin and it felt like I was always being left behind because I was a girl, or I wasn't as talented as the others so I understand what you are feeling. I will grant this request but you must promise me not to do anything stupid and to come back only when you are ready. This environment can be a little stifling can't it?"

She felt like she was going to burst, not only was Tsunade-sama going to let her go, but she understood what she was going through too.

She bowed especially low, "Yes Tsunade-sama! You will not regret this!"

"I wish you wouldn't bow, I'm not a queen."

She bowed once more, "Yes, I understand Tsunade-sama!"

She rushed out of the door and down the stairs, she was going to go right now! She didn't know what was going to happen or what she was going to see but she was excited all the same.

~O~

Tenten didn't notice Tsunade in her haste to leave, but Tsunade nodded her head with a half smile on her lips. "What an exuberant child, she really should be taken more seriously. There is so much undervalued talent here... Shizune!"

"Yes Tsunade-sama?"

" Bring in that paperwork, I might as well get it done now."

"Really Tsunade-sama? This is so good because then there is an ambassador from Snow Country coming and then you said that..."

She pressed a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes, she should have known better than to ask Shizune. God, she needed some sake!

~O~

She sat at her kitchen table with a bowl of the stew from last night and a very large map beside her. As she manually spooned food into her mouth she observed the different countries. Where should she go? Where shouldn't she go?

Well, Mist and Earth were out, even though she heard Earth Country was lovely this time of year, they were just too hostile for her to want to go there alone. She wasn't sure if the rumors were true, but apparently if you were foreign and they so much as found a kunai on you they would kill you. She wasn't sure about that but she wouldn't risk it. She wasn't planning to wear her hitai-ate outside of fire anyway, but yet again it was better to be safe than sorry.

She decided that she would make her way east to Border Town, how original a name was that? Even she could have come up with better. Once she made it there, she would head due north, avoiding Ame, and go through Kuso. Then she would make a loop through all the northern countries until she made it back to Konoha from the west. That sounded like a plan. And of course she would send regular reports to Tsunade-sama so that she wouldn't worry about her, she knew that she would of anybody else here. With a smile she rolled up her map and put her dishes away.

It was still early enough that if she left now she would be halfway to Border Town before nightfall. Of course nobody had stopped by to see how she was, she frowned. No stop that Tenten, you never even told anybody in the first place. Besides who would expect you to make a snap decision to take a vacation in the first place? It's not their fault, the dice just landed where they did is all.

She still didn't feel like saying goodbye though so after talking to the owner of her building about shutting off the utilities during her absence, she took one last look at her little home and the village, hefted her pack onto her shoulders and set out. She didn't look back.

~O~

Camping out under the stars was one of the things that was nice about traveling. Many complained about the discomfort or the cold, but not her, not when she could pack anything she could possibly need. She sat up late into the night under the stars and with her crackling fire, she didn't need company, she was enough for herself at the moment. The solitude was good for her soul, because even though she had been feeling lonely before, being able to sort out her feelings without somebody to tell her what they were was infinitely better.

It would all work out in the end, she had a feeling that she would find what she was looking for. She prodded the fire one more time, added a few logs and crawled into her tent and waiting sleeping bag. She felt so much better than she had at home, right now she was free.

~O~

Proceeding the next day was sheer bliss, there was nobody pounding on her door asking her to train with them. It wasn't that she minded helping Lee or Neji, it's just that they never asked if they could help her in return. She didn't know if it was because they didn't think about it, or they didn't care or what, but she could use help from time to time too. Creating all your own moves from scratch was hard, at least Neji should be able to understand that.

Well whatever, that was why she was here now. This would be her pilgrimage, not theirs. She shook those thoughts out of her head, she didn't have to concentrate on why for weeks. She should just enjoy herself while she could.

Maybe when she made it to Kuso tomorrow or the next day she would train a little. She had a great idea for a combination weapon attack, with a grin she patted the weapons scroll on her back. She was excited already.

She was about to stop for lunch when she came across a very odd clearing and for some reason she thought that she should recognize it. But that was silly she didn't ever remember even coming to this part of the forest, at least not walking on the ground as she was. All the trees here looked like they had been torn by an earthquake or struck by lightning. She felt a strange sort of peace here, maybe because these trees could reflect her pain. She felt torn and burned too. Dropping her pack to the ground she reverently touched the bark of one burned tree. This couldn't have been caused by nature, it was too concentrated. Maybe somebody had trained here, that would make a lot more sense, it wasn't uncommon for shinobi to go out and train in the woods and this area wasn't too far from Konoha anyway.

Hey! This could be the perfect opportunity to practice some medical jutsu! She wasn't as proficient as Sakura or Ino by far, but she could work on it now. She wasn't busy at all, and hadn't they practiced healing on broken melons anyway? Trees couldn't be that different, they were both plants after all. Plus there were burned trees and torn trees, two kinds of wounds to work on, it would be perfect.

Kneeling by her pack she pulled out the scroll that held all her books, and scanning through the titles she finally found the book that Sakura had lend to her. Summoning it, she flipped through the pages, there it was. How to heal burns. She sat down and read the whole chapter before she shut the book with a satisfied snap. Standing she went to the closest burnt tree and summoned chakra to her hand.

Doing this sort of thing with her chakra was hard, but very satisfying, from the little she had done before she had already realized it's potential for honing her control and precision. It took a lot of concentration though, so very carefully she pooled it into her hand. Healing was different from making clones or fireballs because yes, you were expelling chakra but you were also directing it after it had left your body. Making it even harder than normal jutsus. She watched with satisfaction as the chakra in her hand turned the green that it was supposed to be and seemed to swirl around her hand. If she had to describe it, healing chakra felt like water, it was just thicker somehow.

Raising her hand to the trunk of her chosen tree, she delicately pushed her chakra into it. Closing her eyes, she directed the chakra to the bark. She sloughed off the old, damaged bark and encouraged new bark to grow and cover the wound. Then she melded the wood under the bark back together. Soon it was as if the scar had never been there in the first place. She smiled wearily and wiped the sweat off her brow, healing took a lot of chakra but she thought she had enough left to practice on one more tree.

She would seal off that one, that tree over there that had a branch torn off. That would be good practice, it had been a good sized branch too. This might be a little more difficult than the burnt tree. She referred to her book one more time before she stood in front of the second tree and pooled the chakra into her hand once more.

Before she could touch the tree she felt something wrap around her ankle. It wasn't a snake, and it wasn't a rabbit, she wanted to scream but she didn't. The chakra fell from her hand as she tried to move her leg, but it wouldn't budge. Full of fear she looked toward the ground.

Oh my god. OH MY GOD!!! She thrashed, but she was held fast. Whatever held her ankle bound the rest of her body and began to mercilessly squeeze the air from her lungs and as she began to lose consciousness, a last thought flickered across her mind. All she had wanted was a nice, quiet vacation. She hadn't even had two days to herself. God, what was going to happen to her?


	2. Hoc Quoque Transibit

The title for this story is in Latin and literally translates to 'hunger sweetens beans' so now you know.

I'm not a doctor, just like Tenten, so I really don't know if this would actually happen like this, but since Tenten is just as ignorant of these things as I am it's accurate. Lol, for once I don't have to research! Yes!

I would also like to say that this chapter has been the hardest thing that I have ever written for several reasons. It was just depressing, poor Kakuzu and Hidan and Kisame and Itachi and Deidara and... you get my point. Anyway I think that Tobi= Madara is a dirty lie, it's just genjutsu, he's really... Kishimoto!! Hahahahahaha. But seriously stop killing all the goddamn good characters!! D : Or at least dig Hidan up or something! Just leaving him there is so dumb! And what about corpse dolls?! Only Kisame and Itachi used them? And they're dead anyway?! How dumb is that? No wonder Akatsuki turned into such an epic fail... it's like you _want _Naruto to win... lol... well anyways...

* * *

With an afflicted grimace he pushed himself up through wave after wave of pain surfacing into consciousness. He didn't know how much time had passed or why he was awake, but his body was gripped in the utmost of pain. For a moment he didn't remember anything so intense was his suffering, but then it all flooded back, the battle, that copy-cat, that _kid_. For all his talk he had been as arrogant and cocky as Hidan.

With a soft groan he opened his eyes and looked around, there was the reason he was awake. His body and ingrained shinobi instincts had alerted him to another person being in the vicinity. He was too weak and feverish to take on a strong shinobi, and to be honest he didn't think he could defeat a weak shinobi either. So with annoyance he sat back against the tree and tried to arrange himself into a more comfortable position. He wouldn't alert the girl to his presence, he would just be wary and hopefully soon she would leave so he could sleep again. Being conscious was sheer agony.

He watched as she paused in the clearing and dropped her bag to the ground, he watched as she touched a burnt tree with something akin to wonder on her face. Weird, it was just a tree, nothing to get worked up about. She just stood there for a few minutes, looking around, it was starting to irritate him. Why couldn't she just be off on her merry way and leave him to endure in peace? Insufferable. He quietly picked blood caked scraps of cloth out of his wounds, it stung, but he was feeling worse.

He lifted his head as he noticed her finally moving, thank god, he had started to worry she would stand there forever... God. Instead of leaving now she was sitting there reading. What was with this girl? Was she touched in the head or something? Who would read out here of all places? And here he was, not able to do one thing about it. He weariedly laid his head back against the trunk of the tree behind him, glad that a bush concealed him, although it was one of those thistley ones that tore incessantly at his skin and what was left of his clothing. He was so tired, it amazed him that he had come out of his coma at all.

The girl was still reading, a rather large tome too, and it didn't look like she would put it down anytime soon either. She looked young, and by some's standards rather pretty, she had large brown eyes, he noticed that much. She didn't wear a hitai-ate, that was good, so she was just out for a stroll in the woods? From what he could recall out of his hazy memory there weren't any villages near here that this place could just be walked to so easily. No matter, she would have to leave eventually and it wasn't like he was going to go anywhere anytime soon. You'd think those bastards would look to see whether he was really dead or not. Hmph. Likely they 'wanted to keep on schedule' and so he was left by the wayside. Not that he was very useful anymore.

With another stifled moan he shifted his weight so that he was leaning more on one side then sitting straight up. It was only a little better. Well despite everything he was glad he was still alive, he may have let too much slip during the battle but he hadn't been too far gone in his arrogance to let slip about his sixth heart. Now his only heart, not even Leader-sama had known about it. That had been his main mistake though he shouldn't have spoken at all, that smart kid had gleaned enough from everything Hidan and he had said to eventually defeat them both, and if he knew Hidan he was probably dead. Or as dead as that bastard could be. Not that death wasn't something he hadn't wanted, he was angry though that a mere chunnin had brought Hidan down. Not to mention the fact he had been 'killed' by a _gennin_, of all the demeaning facts, there it was. He had talked to much, he had given them time to talk and make a plan, he had admitted the truth about his body, he had let his anger take over... the list went on. This was so stupid, he had broken every rule in the book, it was no wonder he was in such an awful position now.

He looked down at his body, an utter mess. He was torn, burned, many of his sutures were broken, and all his wounds were oozing puss, it was painful and disgusting. He would really die soon at this rate, it was a miracle he was even conscious right now in the first place, amazing that he could form coherent thoughts. If he hadn't had his sixth heart, an earth based heart, he wouldn't have been able to turn his outermost layer of skin to wood at the last moment. He had been supremely lucky. And now he would just die of a fever, abandoned and forgotten in the woods to be fed on by crows and foxes. He wold suffer the same fate as the corpse doll that had shared his 'death'. How ironic.

He snapped his head up painfully when he sensed her forming chakra, so she was a kunoichi? Then why wasn't she wearing a hitai-ate? He regarded her warily now as she stood in front of a tree. She was too far away for him to do anything yet, but he knew she didn't know he was here. So far anyway. His eyes widened in shock as he realized what she was doing to the tree, she was healing it. For the love of everything, he may not die after all. She just had to come close enough that he could grab her. He was in too much pain and his body was too damaged for him to capture her now. He didn't know of her capabilities either, other than her healing abilities.

He watched hungrily as she completely healed the burnt tree, it took a lot out of her he could see the sweat dripping down her face from here, but he didn't care, any help could pull him from the brink of death. He knew it wouldn't be too much longer, the beating of his last heart was frail at best.

She wiped the sweat from her face and went back to her book, and after another agonizing wait she stood up again. Yes, bring her closer here, closer, closer. Finally! She was only about four feet away from him, if he shifted to his left a little he could stretch out his remaining threads... and yes! He had her by the ankle and she froze, like a frightened doe. It would make it easier for him. He crawled very slowly and carefully towards her, three feet. He unleashed all the threads he had left and wrapped her, she started to thrash now, but it was too late, she was his. He squeezed until he felt her go limp. He would live now, he would live and carry on with whatever was left of his life. Which wasn't much granted, but it was better than being dead by far. He knew he wasn't immortal, he never would be, but he would cling to life for as long as he could and she was the key.

Releasing all but a few of his threads, he struggled up to his feet, she would be awake soon and he needed to be as imposing as was physically possible. His legs almost gave out from beneath him and he found he was leaning more on his threads then they were binding her. He didn't think he had ever been so weak, even after his failed attempt on the first Hokage's life, what was with this village? He bet she was from there too, there were too many little leaves to count. He noticed her pack and shuffling over to it he rifled through it's contents. No food, no medicine, just the strangest scrolls he had ever seen. They were summoning scrolls, he could see that much but they weren't anything he could open. Damn, and he could see their labels too. Well the girl would be awake soon and then he wouldn't have to worry anymore. Either she would do it out of fear for her life or out of pity for him, or both, but as long as he didn't die he didn't care. He dropped the scrolls back into the bag and returned to his hostage. He wouldn't be able to stand for much longer, he prodded her with his foot, ok now she was waking up.

... She had the biggest eyes he had ever seen, she really was like a frightened doe. And it was odd, but she wasn't begging for him to let her go, or that he didn't kill her or any of the things a typical hostage would say. No, she was just looking at him with those large eyes, but he could tell she was frightened by the way she shook and the way her heart was beating so quickly. It looked like he would have to be the first to speak.

"You look awful."

... Or not. This girl was beyond anything he could understand. He had underestimated the ingenuity and courage of these little leaves before, but not again.

"That is why I've caught you."

She just stared at him a moment longer before her eyes widened in realization.

"You want me to heal you? I'm not very skilled, I just started to learn. How did you get hurt like that anyway sir? It doesn't look to me like you should be alive."

"Hmm. Perhaps not but you are going to anyway."

He pushed on his threads a little to prove his point, he owned her now. He could see her trying to think of a plan, well enough of that, he knew what happened when he let leaves have the time to think. Calling up reserves of strength he knew he shouldn't have, he pulled her up to her feet and slammed her against a tree.

"You are going to heal me, and I'm not going to let you go, and I'm not going to kill you and I'm not going to give you an opening to kill me. Is that understood?"

Her brows furrowed, "But if you let me heal you I could just kill you then."

He hadn't thought of that, it had just slipped his mind in his rush to capture her. Could he appeal to her 'good nature'? Could he trust her? It must have shown on his face because her eyes softened and then they hardened, that was weird.

"You! You're supposed to be dead! They did an autopsy on you! Your name is Kakuzu isn't it? The one who tried to steal Kakashi-san's heart!"

Great, just great. What was he supposed to do now? He definitely didn't want her 'healing' him now, he could see the hatred in her face. He was going to die now, he could still force her but what good would that do? Before he would probably still have forced her, but he was going to die now anyway, might as well die of old wounds then new ones. He slumped into a sitting position and released her, what did it matter, he was resigned now. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the pain. If he was lucky she would just leave him alone and go.

Time slowly passed but he refused to open his eyes to see if she was gone, it was the last shred of his dignity. For some reason something as pointless and worthless as that seemed important now. Looks like death is really as they say, your whole character changing right before you die. Like you're sorry for everything. Stupid. He had lived his life the way he had been taught, it just hadn't turned out the way he had thought it would. Not that it really mattered, people were killers, he was no better or no worse than anybody else. And why did he even care if he was 'better or worse'? How irritating. And... what the hell?

She was touching him... and healing him? Why would she do that? He opened his eyes and saw the book resting by her side as she delicately touched his chest where the worst wound was. Where that Kakashi had used chidori on him. He shouldn't care why she was doing it, it was probably being on the brink of death talking anyway.

"Why?"

"Because you were going to let me go."

She knew who he was and what he had done... had attempted to do rather, and she was healing him anyway. This girl was bizarre, but he would accept it. It's not like he had anything else to lose but the breath in his body. He was back to being a missing-nin again, no family, village, organization. Back to square one. He didn't particularly like it, especially the fact that it was affecting him. Stupid.

~O~

He wasn't very talkative, but that was better for her because it was much easier to heal him when she could concentrate. Healing a person wasn't anything like healing a tree, for one she was worried that she would hurt him more than he was hurt already. She hadn't told the whole truth though, it was that look in his eyes, like it couldn't get any worse and there wasn't any reason to try anymore. That look, she never wanted to see it again, on her face or his. It was obvious, at least to her, that he wasn't Akatsuki anymore, if he still was they wouldn't have left him to rot out here all alone. What kind of team would do that anyway? She didn't expect that an organization of missing-nin would get along all the time but you would think that they would care about each other enough to collect their members. It hurt her heart to see him abandoned like this even if he could kill her anytime he wanted. She knew he was a cruel man, just from hearing a brief account from Shikamaru she knew that. But it seemed to her that this was not the same man from before, perhaps it was because he had almost died, but he definitely wasn't the same. If he had been he wouldn't have let her go. And that was the real reason she was trying her best to heal him.

She was almost completely out of chakra and he was far from being ok. Dropping her hand from his chest she made her way to her pack, she could feel his eyes on her back, but she ignored it and pulled a scroll from her bag. A soldier's pill might be overkill, but she was determined to heal him in one go if she could help it. There was just something about him... he needed her. Somebody needed her, he needed something from her that only she could give. It was a feeling she had never felt before, and it felt good. This man was a monstrosity, far stronger and more powerful than she was, but he needed her. With a smile she popped the pill into her mouth and swallowed. It felt like she was on a sugar rush and a caffeine high and... and anything else that made you feel like you were flying. She could understand why shinobi became addicted to these things. Turning back to her book she looked at the chapter on infections, and the more she read the more she realized that he should _not_ be alive. Everything that could be wrong with him was.

One thing was for sure, she had to get his clothes off of him because they were not helping the infection, in fact in the state they were in now it was like he had pressed dirty sponges into all his wounds. So taking her canteen she poured the water down his chest and once the cloth was soft enough she carefully began to pull the scraps out of his wounds. She took this lull in the healing to get a good look at him. He was a massive and very well muscled man, and he was covered in sutures, it was like he had fallen apart and then had been pieced back together again. And the funny thing was that it didn't bother her, some people might have been frightened or thought that he was ugly, but she didn't, and she was a little scared but it was for entirely different reasons. She thought his most attractive aspect were his eyes, black and green, it was an odd combination but she found she really like it. The way the black offset the green was striking. Soon his torso was completely bare and ready for her to move on and start to actually heal him.

Referring to her book one more time she tentatively raised her hand to his chest. Infections were healed differently than burns and cuts, the chakra was used more like water than like thread. You used the chakra to swirl the infection and push the puss out of a wound. She undid the bandage she kept around her leg and used it to wipe up the seeping discharge, it was gross but it had to be done. It took quite a while to clean out all the infection but she was still going strong thanks to the soldier's pill. And now that he was relatively clean she could mend him back together again without worry. He looked a lot better now if she did say so herself, he wasn't in so much pain that was for sure, but he was probably dehydrated and hungry. She handed him her canteen, he looked confused for a moment until she pushed his hand up to his mouth, he was still pretty out of it if he didn't know what to do with a canteen. Well, maybe it was more that she was giving it to him then him not knowing what to do with it, and that was just sad.

After another hour he was as good as her limited skills could make him, she hadn't dared to touch his organs, she was sure with something as fragile as that she would make it worse rather than better. And for all she knew his innards could be fine, he was alive right? It had mostly been the infected fever that had brought him so near to death. She was exhausted though and as hungry as she had ever been, it felt like she had run as fast as she could for two days without stopping. Nothing tired her as much as healing did, that was for sure. Going to her pack she pulled out a lot of food, and they ate in silence. After he had asked her why she was healing him he hadn't said one thing, and it wasn't that she was a chatter box herself because really she had a hard time just making small talk, it just wasn't her thing. But this man had her curious, and she felt relatively safe because if he had meant to kill her he would have done it as soon as she had finished healing him. For some reason having him here made her feel bold, maybe it was because she had saved his life and he owed her an explanation at the very least.

It was getting dark though so she would leave it for morning. He needed rest more than he needed to alleviate her curiosity anyway. So going back to her pack she summoned her tent and all of her blankets, he was huge, but she thought they would both fit with a little maneuvering. He still hadn't said anything but he was sure to once he saw how small her little tent was. She was actually looking forward to talking to him, though she was vaguely aware that it probably wasn't a good idea to eagerly look forward to talking and eventually sleeping in the same tent with this man. But this was a vacation right? She was feeling weird again, just not depressed like she had been before and she didn't care. Opportunities like this didn't come around often.

He was still sitting where she had left him after dinner, he must be feeling exhausted. Well what did she expect? She was tired too. And now it was raining... she hadn't even noticed. It seemed somehow fitting that the sky would decide to rain in this moment. Like after what she had done it was washing everything away, because when she had felt that first droplet of rain she realized just what she had done. She had aided her enemy. But he wasn't really her enemy, was he? He hadn't hurt her, in fact he was just sitting there staring at the sky. Whatever, what will be will be. And who had said that it was good to keep her friends close and her enemies closer? Well that didn't actually apply here, but she just didn't care anymore, right now she was just Tenten anyway, not Tenten of The Hidden Leaf. She wouldn't have to report this if she didn't want to.

The rain turned from a drizzle to a downpour just as she finished erecting the tent. She sighed in relief as she threw her pack and the blankets into the tent and got her precious scrolls out of harms way. Standing she shook the rain out of her eyes and reached her hand out to him, Kakuzu. It had a nice ring to it. He just stared at her hand, well this was getting them nowhere.

"If you don't come out of the rain you'll just get a fever again, you're too weak to just sit out here and keep your pride." That may have been too harsh she realized, but she had never respected people who put pride before all else. It was just stupid. He just narrowed his eyes at her and grabbed her hand in an amazingly vice-like grip. And he was heavy too, but she managed to get them both to her tent. She could feel him trembling, she needed to get him dry and fast too. Picking up some of the blankets off the floor she wrapped one around him and pulling him so that he leaned over, used another to pat his hair dry. He was extremely quiet, he didn't say anything, and it was starting to bother her. Nobody should just give up like this, it was pitiful. She didn't know though, he _was_ sick, she just wanted to hear him say something, anything.

She sighed, she couldn't force him to do anything, all she could do was make sure he was ok. With one last pat on his head she wrapped that blanket around him too. Then she spread out her sleeping bag and the rest of the blankets, thanking god that she had found those scrolls that day, and indicated that he should lay down.

"I'm sorry I don't have any dry clothes for you to change into but you are much bigger than I am."

He just nodded and laid down. This was beyond bizarre, from everything she had heard he was a cruel and an angry person, why was he being so quiet now? It didn't make any sense. Where was the fire?

"May I ask you one question?"

He just looked at her, so she decided to just ask. Either he would answer or he wouldn't, as simple as that. "I wanted to know why you're just letting me take care of you."

Something like a tired smile came to his stitched lips, "Why wouldn't I let you keep me from dying?"

"I just thought you would be different then this. I'm sorry that isn't my place."

He just shrugged and laid his head down on the floor, "There's nothing left, why shouldn't I be different?"

That was just so... so... awful! She may have it hard at home, but at least she didn't have nothing! Let's face it though, he was right. He didn't have a village, he was a missing-nin after all, so that probably meant he didn't have a family either, not to mention his age. He had been abandoned here out in the forest so he didn't have Akatsuki, his partner was buried in pieces in a hole somewhere out in the woods. This man didn't have anything, barely even the clothes on his, well not his back anymore. She felt truly sorry for him, more than she had felt sorry for anyone in her life.

"I'm sorry."

His head jerked to look at her again. His eyes glowed in the dark she noticed, it was really pretty, like light shining through a green marble, "What?"

"I said I was sorry."

His eyes narrowed to little slits, "Why? Why would you be sorry for me? I tried to kill your friends, my organization tried to destroy your village, why would you feel sorry for me?"

"I can kind of understand what you must be feeling, and so I'm sorry."

She heard him snort and roll over, that was a little more normal right? She yawned and crawled under a blanket herself. Maybe it would all make more sense in the morning. She had all her vacation to figure him out. She just hoped he wouldn't leave in the night. It would be dumb, but she could see a man like him disappearing into the night never to be heard from again.

~O~

He listened to her soft breathing, he was relieved she didn't snore, that got on his nerves very quickly. What was bothering him though, was their conversation, he kept playing it over in his head. Especially the part where she had said she was sorry for him, since when did anybody care about him? He wasn't completely different, for one he was pissed at those leaves for taking his life away from him and he wouldn't hesitate to kill them if he ever saw them again. But this little leaf was different, she was stupid that was for sure but he found that he liked her. She did pack all this crap, and because of that he wasn't out in the rain, though this tent was too small for his liking and he didn't usually like being touched, by anyone, much less _leaves_ of all people. He sighed, not that it really mattered.

He felt her shift in her sleep, he wondered yet again what had brought her out here in the middle of nowhere. It didn't make any sense, she was just wandering around without her hitai-ate? Why? And she could relate? How? Was she missing too? Then why would she be here? If she was missing she would be as far away from her village as was humanly possible. Whatever.

He had to admit though, that he felt a lot better than he had in a long time. All he had to do now was find something to live for, he could say he was living for himself, but what that was a lie. What was really left of 'him' had been killed off a very long time ago. Did he have regret? He supposed so, he had never understood sadness, or why there had to be such a thing. Typically he just turned his sadness into anger, it was easier to kill than it was to come to terms with his own feelings. So what was he to do now? Live one hollow, empty day to the next? What a life, he thought grimly. And here this little leaf probably had everything he was missing, he almost felt jealous.

He turned to look at her, she had let her hair down, she looked so innocent. He brushed her bangs out of her eyes, what would life have been like if he hadn't been a shinobi? Maybe he would have been as naive and innocent as she was, happy like she was, he sighed and rolled onto his back. Whatever. He just had to play with the hand dealt to him, and that didn't include 'what-ifs' and 'if-onlys'. He would keep walking forward, looking to the past just made you weak.

He felt a soft touch, what was she playing at now? He turned his head slightly and almost smiled, almost. She was holding him in her sleep, her slender little arm barely reaching around his shoulder, and yet again he was struck by how it didn't bother him. He would let her touch him, it wasn't like she was doing it on purpose. She probably wouldn't touch him on purpose anyway, her healing him had been a fluke. Then again, him being caught by that kid had been a fluke too and look where it had landed him. Crazy old man indeed.

He had been planning to leave once she was asleep, but now... now he didn't want to. To go out in that rain and wander aimlessly? Why? Maybe he would stick around and see what answers she could bring him. It wasn't like anybody needed him now.

* * *

I told you it was depressing right? I almost just left it as a two-shot, but I refuse to be depressed and so I am going to make Kakuzu be happy! It isn't like it really matters anyway right? Life is so screwed. Anyway, I wouldn't have left it here, just so you know, hopefully the next chapter will be a little more light hearted. Writing stories like this takes a lot out of you. Bah, humbug! I'll do it anyway!


	3. Spes Ver Eternus

This chapter was inspired in part by The Boondock Saints (way better than Death Note, in my opinion), classical/pop fusion and 'all the lonely people'. And yes, I did make a bad pun on a T.I. song, or perhaps it's more of a double entendre, whatever, it's a bad joke either way.

* * *

What makes life important? Why do people hold onto it at all costs? Why are there so many sacrifices made to keep one last breath in your body? Is it purely instinct? Is it some higher calling? Is it the need to do one last thing, say one last thing? To _be_ one last time? Life in and of itself makes no sense, what purpose does it serve? Does being alive mean something or is it just another monotonous process of the universe? Are we the pawns or the masters? Is our very intelligence a joke? What is love?

~O~

He was glad that he woke the next morning first, one because the position he was in was rather amusing and two because he wanted to take a moment to enjoy it before she woke up and ruined it. Things like this happened rarely and more rarely for free. She was completely wrapped around him as if she was hugging some large stuffed animal, he briefly wondered why her doing that hadn't woken him up sooner. It was sweet in a way he supposed, and at the very least served to demonstrate just how naive she really was. Just because she had found him dying in some godforsaken corner of the world and just because she had saved him didn't mean that he couldn't, and wouldn't, kill her with a flick of his wrist at any given moment. Not that he was going to now, but it was still an option and she should know better than to trust him so implicitly like this. He didn't owe her anything, she could have walked away, so as far as he was concerned her act of 'mercy' was completely gratis. However that didn't change the fact that he rather enjoyed the feel of her head tucked so neatly under his chin and the feel of those slender arms trying to grip around his torso. He knew he was a large man by general standards, but she was so small that he felt quite a bit larger then he normally did. He could dominate her so easily.

He sniffed her hair, it smelled like a combination of plain soap and musky perfume, and it wasn't at all unpleasant. In fact he thought he liked it actually, it wasn't overpowering yet it still held some appeal. Reaching up the one hand that he had free, because the girl was lying on his other arm, he rubbed a strand between his fingertips, surprisingly it wasn't as soft as he had thought it would be. It wasn't rough but the texture implied that she really did wash her hair with soap, for some reason that bothered him. He was all for frugality and saving money but there was something inherently wrong with the idea of a woman who wasn't extravagant with her bath things. It was just strange. He frowned and touched her skin, at least this was as soft as it should be, and the hair on her arm was actually softer than that on her head. What an odd little leaf. He knew, had known, he corrected himself, men who had better hygiene than she did. Deidara and Hidan came to mind, he vaguely wondered if Deidara was still alive. If any of them were still alive. It didn't matter though, they had all left him for dead. And so he borrowed a page from Hidan's book. Fucking cock-sucking bastards, I hope they all burn in hell.

He let out a sigh and awkwardly shifted his leg. He still hurt but he resented being left behind more than his physical injury. Assets were not to be thrown so carelessly to the wayside. Broken things could be fixed. This little leaf had proven that. His anger was easily bought, but his resentment took some work and this had definitely earned his rancor. Not even Hidan had earned a grudge, despite how annoying he could be, had been, he corrected himself. To think that he had been caught by that chunnin... Anyway however pleasant he found this experience to be, he still should not have to be in this unbearably small tent, he should be back at the base being cared for properly. It galled him that they hadn't even come to see if he was really dead or not, who believed everything they heard anyway? Rumors were more often outright lies than the truth and Leader, of all people, should know that. If he ever saw him again he would try to kill him. Loyalty was a double-edged sword after all.

He sighed, being angry was pointless right now. As long as he avoided them he would never have to deal with them again, which was frankly smarter than revenge, even if he did want to beat them into a bloody pulp. And until he gathered a few more hearts his resentment would be a moot point, he couldn't take on leader... that _boy_until he had a finer edge. Only the stupid played with fire thinking they would not be burned. If he ever tried to take on the boy, or his partner for that matter, it would be at full strength. Not at the miserly levels of chakra and power he currently possessed. But with the help of this little leaf he could stand on his own feet again. Eventually anyway. She wasn't advanced enough to heal everything, just enough to keep him from dying. Now he had to deal with all the minor injuries and broken bones himself. It was frustrating.

Speaking of little leaves, she felt hot against his bare chest, don't tell him that after all this she was the one who had caught a fever. What kind of irony would that be? He moved his free hand from her arm to her forehead, definitely warmer than it should be. Even he could tell that much, and wounds were more his specialty. He paused his examining when she nuzzled his chest and mumbled something under her breath. He couldn't quite make it out, but he liked the way her breath fanned across his skin. It had been a long time since he had thought about women, unless he was attacking them, but in his opinion most women were weak and prone to letting their emotions run away with them. Not that he was really one to talk now.

"No!"

Hmm? He dropped his hand from her forehead in confusion and was about to ask what was wrong when he realized that she was still asleep and dreaming. This could be interesting. She started to thrash and he could feel her nails dig into his skin, some caught on his sutures instead, it felt odd. This must be some nightmare.

"No! Don't... sorry... just want... No!"

He was vaguely curious as to what was running through her mind now, just what did she want? Her actions towards him bothered him a lot. Just what did she think to gain from helping him? Did she think that he owed her now? Perhaps she wanted to die? All the leaves that he had met tended to be a bit suicidal, and _noble_, they were too willing to throw their lives away for nothing. Did they not grasp that death was never noble? Death reduced a man to the pathetic sniveling animal that they really were; if a man could be noble while in the throws of death perhaps it amounted to something, but that didn't change the fact that they were dead and forgotten. What a bunch of bull shit, it was all about the money not principles, and certainly not _bonds_ or _honor_. Those concepts had no place in the real world, and if they truly believed that then they truly were naive simpletons.

"Please! ... just want..."

Just want what? Spit it out girl!

"Don't leave me!"

What? She couldn't be thinking about him... Could she? Surely there was some equally naive idiot boy in her village that she was dreaming about. She couldn't be referring to him. Though he found that he wanted her to. Which was odd in and of itself, he didn't even know her name, hadn't even known her for one full day and he wanted her to dream about him? Stupid. He found himself running a hand over her hair anyway, was he trying to soothe her? Time to stop this dead in it's tracks. He shifted his weight so he could push away from her but suddenly stopped. Her little arms constricted around his chest and he felt something wet trickle down his skin.

"No, Kakuzu!"

... What the hell?! She really was an idiot, but then, why was he so pleased? Even more stupid. But crying? Really? Even if she was an emotional woman he thought that to be a little much. Maybe he would bother to ask. The look on her face when she realized that she had spoken out loud may be worth the trouble. He settled back down into her grasp and smiled when she stopped wriggling and crying into his skin. It didn't take a lot with some people did it? It must be nice to have everything be so simple. What a dumb little ninja. More like a game then anything else, a real shinobi would have killed him as soon as he saw him. That would be the smart thing; act now, ask questions later. But whatever, he was alive thanks to her stupidity, and all for free too. No threats, no bribery, nothing.

While the girl slept on obliviously he listened to the rain, it didn't seem to be the right season for this sort of downpour, but hey, why would he complain when he wasn't out in it? He brushed a hand over the deep scar in his chest, over where his last heart should have been. Chidori, he could mark that off his long list of life experiences. But that was what life was about wasn't it? Never ending pain. Everything in life is painful, from the time of your birth to the time of your death, it was all pain. Each scar wasn't a mark of pride, it was just proof of every stupid mistake a person ever made. It was the soldiers without scars that you had to look out for. Besides his macabre way of living longer he had few scars, that was what he was proud of, though the copycat's was his most impressive scar now by far. It ran all the way from his shoulder to his navel and then split off into two more trails around his legs. It was quite the mark of power and as far as he knew he was the only one to survive chidori. Yay him. Now he got to lay here with this girl for an undetermined amount of time recuperating for a life he no longer had and for a purpose he probably never had in the first place. Now that he thought about it, living for someone else's dream, whether it made him money or kept him alive or what, was the stupidest thing he ever did and now he had the scar to prove it. If anything he should have had his own purpose and manipulated akatsuki to serve his own needs, instead he had been led around like a sheep and when he finally became vulnerable they left him to rot. Snap out of it, as far as you're concerned Akatsuki is dead and gone.

"Mmmm..."

He looked down at the girl holding him. But then again you only felt the pain after you felt joy. If there were not good times then the bad times wouldn't seem so bad, they would actually be normal. Was all the pain worth the little bit of joy? Was the joy worth the pain? It seemed to him the whole concept was out of balance. But then again people held on to their pain far tighter then their joy. Pain brought death, and death was an end. But then again who knew what came after? And there is just as much potential to create as there is to destroy. Pain took away the joy. But then again it seemed that people always jumped back, always continued to love. He could be the exception to that rule. But then again he would never know if he didn't give whatever this was a chance to grow. It's not like he had anything better to do, and if she grew attached to him he wouldn't have to worry about her turning on him. It seemed like a fair trade to him, he wouldn't kill her if she didn't kill him. This would have to be the weirdest relationship he had ever seen at any rate.

"Kakuzu..."

Perhaps there was more to life than suffering. Now that he thought about it his life hadn't been completely about pain and betrayal, there had been good times too. She could end up being one of those joys. He was tired of being bitter, it had got him no and cost him nothing but more pain. Literally. It was true that many other people had hurt him in the past, but wasn't it true as well that he had hurt himself just as often? Life seemed to always be a two-edged sword, every action had a reaction. Every ripple caused another ripple. Perhaps it was time that he stopped letting life happen to him and actually start to live. That sounded more agreeable than the pain, at least living he would see the pain coming. Maybe acting on his own the pain would be worth it for once.

Enough of these musings, it's high time she woke up, his skin was starting to wrinkle. He hated humidity, and her having a fever and being so close to him wasn't helping anything. And he hurt, with her laying on him he couldn't move and now his already stiff muscles were becoming almost unbearable. And now that his fever had broken and he could concentrate he realized his shoulder was dislocated. He didn't know if it was from laying on the ground in a coma for two weeks or the girl sleeping on his arm but he could feel it now. With a grunt he jerked his arm and winced when it ground back into place; good enough for now and it woke the girl up too. He wondered how she would surprise him in round two.

~O~

She opened her bleary eyes to realize two things. One that it was still raining outside and didn't seem to have lightened any in the night and two, more importantly, that she was very close, scratch that, entwined with Kakuzu. Kakuzu the S-class and supposedly dead, very dangerous member of Akatsuki, the organization with the intent of destroying the world. Or at least that was what she had been led to believe. What worried her more than all that though was the fact that she really didn't mind. And she was also worried because she should care and all she found herself doing was blinking away the haze of sleep and smiling at him. Well she had never been one for pretense, she didn't feel threatened and he hadn't left like a thief in the night, so that was something right? She shouldn't completely trust him, she wasn't that dumb, but it wasn't like he was very strong now either. Well on the other hand it didn't take much to kill a person. But on the other hand he was just lying there like he belonged. But on the other hand he could be plotting. But on the other... just stop it Tenten. If he kills you then he kills you, hadn't Gai-sensei told her that fear was both good and bad? That fear made you more respectful but if not restrained made you as weak as a rabbit. There was a time and a place for fear but she didn't feel like this was one of those times. She would follow her gut and see where it got her, she wasn't dead so it seemed to be working for her.

"Good morning, Kakuzu."

He just looked at her for a moment. "Why don't you use honorifics with my name? You did with your superior's names."

She paused, why didn't she? "Because you are an exile and a criminal and more importantly you were supposed to be dead. So I guess I don't think they're relevant in your case."

His eyes squinted somewhat and his lip twitched a little, was that his attempt at smiling? Who knew. What she did know was that she was really cold and he was very warm. She felt herself blushing a little bit, but that couldn't be right, she didn't have all the mushy feelings you were supposed to have when you're in a situation like this. Why was she even thinking this in the first place?

"I believe you're sick, you feel hot to me."

That would make sense, sick people always act weird. But sick people didn't think about love, did they? He had the most interesting eyes, you'd think that he would be frightening or at the very least intimidating, but she only found him interesting and somewhat handsome. Maybe it was because she was trained as a shinobi that she didn't mind, she had definitely seen weird things before. Like Hoshigaki Kisame, he was high on her list of strange things. Even Kiba made her list, the techniques he used with his dog were noting short of weird, but cool and very, very effective. So she guessed it was alright, it could be worse right? He could have stitched more on him then there was supposed to be. He could have extra arms or another leg or something disgusting like that.

"Are you just going to stare at me? Shouldn't you eat something?"

Oh, right, that would be good. It was imperative that she get her strength back, she had to be strong for both of them... Wait, when did she decide to take care of him? Did she actually want to keep him around? Well it would be nice, wasn't the whole reason of this trip because she was lonely and slightly neglected? Granted if you didn't want to be alone you wouldn't leave in the first place, but for her this was more of a solitude than of forced loneliness. She needed to work out some things for herself before she went back and laid her life on the line again. What did she need? What did she want? What was she really fighting for? What did she believe? She needed to figure these things out, needed to come to terms with herself first. She knew who she was, she didn't need to find herself what she needed was to find her place. She was like a mismatched puzzle piece waiting to be put into her corner of the puzzle. Because life was like that; a jigsaw, a maze, a riddle. A game that had to be played. And now it was her move, one step forward?

"You must be hungry too. Anything you want?"

"No."

"Alright, I don't feel like making anything so I hope your ok with just protein bars. I have many flavors though."

...

"I'll take that for a yes." She reached for her pack and took out the 'Food' scroll. She never could get over how useful these things were, paid for themselves the first time she used them. She probably was a little too proud of them, they were just scrolls after all. She sighed, a scroll is a scroll is a scroll. She summoned two peach bars, peaches were her favorite fruit. She just handed him his, it wasn't hard because they were still so close together. She didn't say anything while they ate, she just watched him. She could tell he was still in a lot of pain, he was leaning more on one side, he was avoiding using his left arm, his breathing was slightly labored, which she thought was because of the scar, it had been really deep and long when she had healed it. Maybe if she went back through Sakura's book she could learn some more to help him with. Nobody liked to hurt, well he didn't look like a masochist to her anyway. She never could understand that. Bearing it yes, but enjoying it? Not really.

He was watching her too, she noticed, he was a lot more subtle than she was being, but she was sick. And he's injured. Well who cared anyway, they were both adults. If she could die for her village at anytime then she could stare at fascinating men too. She sighed again, now she was just sounding foolish. Like a little kid, she was better than that. Taking an enthusiastic last bite of her 'breakfast' she bit her tongue. Great, now I'm feeling _and_ looking foolish. And I'm bleeding too. She winced as her mouth filled with blood, she hated that taste, it was like licking salty, hot copper.

She tossed her wrapper to the side and lay on her back staring at the ceiling of the tent. Being prepared was nice and all, but she really hadn't planned on this rain. What a way to start a vacation, it wasn't even the right season for this kind of weather. Well if she hadn't found Kakuzu when she had, he definitely would have been dead by now. So that was something, he could be her entertainment. She knew he could tell her all sorts of stories, teach her so many things. The question was if he would or not. No she couldn't impose her stupid wishes on him like that, he's worse off than she was and it was just her being childish to want stories. She was done being a kid, she had grown up when Gaara had almost killed Lee, who could be innocent after seeing something like that? It was a hard world she lived in and she just couldn't keep deluding herself with ideas of superheroes and grandeur after that. Who could? Death was final, cruelty was infinite, greed and lust were consuming and that was the way life was. That was why she had enlisted in the academy anyway, she had wanted to be one of the elite, and now she knew the cold hard truth. Dreams and reality rarely ever coincided. Seeing Gaara, seeing him lose himself in his need to feel alive, his lust for blood had been her wake up call. That was why she really needed to fight, if blood was the only way to keep peace, then she would spill it, plain and simple. It was hypocritical she knew but perfection and utopias were idealistic folly. 'Perfection' and 'forever' were only ideas concocted by fear and arrogance after all.

She closed her eyes, why did it have to rain? She was depressed enough as it was. Looking back over at Kakuzu she saw that he was turned with his back to her. She was slightly disappointed. She wanted him to talk to her, distract her from herself. Not that his back wasn't that bad to look at but she wanted to look at his face again. She would have to buy him clothes eventually though, might as well enjoy the view while she could. Rags were never in style.

"Are you cold?"

"No."

"Do you need something?"

"No."

"Are you comfortable?"

"Is there a point to all this?"

"I just want to know, you are my responsibility after all."

He flipped over so quickly that it startled her and then he gripped her collar in one hand.

"What are you playing? What do you want?"

"Nothing! I just want to take care of you!"

"Why?" His eyes narrowed, after all this why wouldn't he trust her now? They had slept all night practically hugging for god's sake!

"Because I want to. Good enough for you?"

"I don't understand, but you're an idiot to do it."

She bristled at that, who was he to question her when he got all the benefit? She would be the one to get in trouble if anyone ever found out, well they would kill him... they could kill her too. Shit! Why _was _she doing this?! Too late now, the deed is done. Tenten, you have serious issues. But being needed by someone else had been, and still was, so intoxicating to her, she really was an idiot.

She looked back up at his face and whispered, "I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

He let her collar go, his hand resting on her wrist, she was surprised, what was _he_ playing? She heard him sigh and then he turned back over again. Why did life always have to be so bizarre? Or rather why did bizarre things always have to happen to her? Would everything work out in the end?


	4. Amare Et Sapere Vix Deo Conceditur

Tragedy and pain changes people. So does love and kindness. People are not made of stone no matter how hard they may try. This has been the study of much literature. Take "A Christmas Carol" and the story of Hades and Persephone. No matter how hard we try to frown and be apathetic in the end we always end up laughing. Unless you're dead, but then it doesn't really matter when you're dead does it? And I don't presume to know anything about martial arts or how they work, or proper medical procedure for that matter, though I'm sure you already knew that.

* * *

He was right, she was such an idiot. She had accepted this, but frankly there was more to life then what side you're on. She was not the kind of person who could just kill in cold blood when it wasn't necessary. And even though Neji had called it weakness, she just couldn't bring herself to cross that line. She would always try to do her duty by her village and the people that she loved, but not at the cost of her soul. There was to much to risk when you went from being a warrior to being a murderer.

She had decided in her heart that he wasn't a threat, that she could trust him not to hurt her. So far she was justified and now was coming to trust him in her mind too. Even if he was totally silent she could sense his heart break, she wanted to know how he had come to this place but kept from asking. She figured he was the kind of man that would tell you when he was ready, she wouldn't push him in any case. Somehow she knew that she needed to take it slow with him, call it a woman's intuition or what you will but she felt that it would be worth it. If she tried to pry whatever had cracked his heart and resolve could destroy him. There was so much to him, and not just his looks. She wanted to know; but she would take it one step at a time. Because that's what they both need right now.

Gai-sensei had said that you have to adapt to each challenge. Well that mixed in with things about 'youth' and 'lotus blossoms' and whatnot, she had learned over the years to filter out the useful bits from the nonsense. Gai-sensei was smarter then people gave him credit for. She was coming to realize a lot of things now that she could look at it from a distance. For the most part she had decided that she had been childish. If she had wanted help so badly then she should have asked for it and been more straightforward instead of meek like she had been. She had talent, she should have pursued it. If you want something you have to go and get it, not wait for it to fall in your lap. So that had been her fault. Sure it would have been nice to not have to ask but there it was, life didn't always turn out the way you want or expect.

Maybe she could do the same with Kakuzu. She didn't have to know the important things. She was more interested in him as a person anyway.

It was still raining. It was refreshing, it was easier to forget the usual humidity of Fire Country when it was raining. Besides, she liked the smell. Wet earth was kind of tangy and thick and it left your nose feeling tingly, she liked it. The only thing she didn't like about it was Kakuzu's occasional need to use the nearest bush. Of course she helped him, she couldn't not help him at this point, she was just glad that they didn't talk about it. Though it didn't look like he cared at all, she was probably over thinking it anyway. It was a natural part of living and nothing to be ashamed of, and if he wasn't then why should she? All she had to do was make sure he didn't stumble on his weak legs and fall on his face on the way there. She had a lurking suspicion that there was something wrong with his leg beyond just weakness. He should have been able to shake it off by now, it had been two or so days. What if it was broken? He would have said something, wouldn't he? But the more important question would be if she could fix it if it was.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair and turned to look back out at the rain. It looked like the rain was letting up a bit, it would be over as soon as it started she figured. When it did she would go and buy him some clothes, she was sure she was more uncomfortable then he was about his lack of clothing then he seemed to be, but for her sake it would be rectified. She wasn't exactly sure why it bothered her so much considering her team was all male and Gai and Lee had a tendency to do humiliating things in the 'spirit of youth' on a regular basis. Maybe it was the 'mysterious' and 'dangerous' qualities that led her to stare at him. Though how 'silence' exactly equated 'mystery' she wasn't sure but all she knew was that she wasn't as good at being subtle as she had thought she was. The last time she had gotten a good peripheral view of him he was staring right at her. She had been really embarrassed and now they didn't talk _or_ look at each other. At least she didn't. And even though she was fully aware of what a shy little girl she was being, she still couldn't bring herself to do anything about it.

Neji wouldn't even be in this situation and Lee? Well she had a feeling he would have done a much better job than she had of not screwing things up. For everything she missed them. It was so hard to do everything on her own, but wasn't that what she had wanted? Hadn't she wanted to be respected and admired? But now all she had was a fucked up murderer sleeping in the same tent as her. The realization comforted and unnerved her simultaneously.

So was her own strength only proportional to her teammates? Could she ever go solo? Yes. Yes she could. She was 'going solo' now wasn't she? They were both safe, she was competent enough as a field medic, they weren't wet or starving. She was doing a pretty damned good job if she did say so herself.

But what was it about him that was so alluring to her anyway? Because that was what it was. She had to admit she was more then just curious, she was attracted. By what was another question entirely. He wasn't exactly handsome by normal standards, he had probably murdered twice the number of people Kakashi-san had just based on the age factor, he had been part of an organization aimed at bringing her home, and all shinobi countries really, to it's knees, and he was apparently apathetic to nearly everything. What kind of combination was that for potential boyfriends? She hated to even use the words 'boyfriend' and 'Kakuzu' in the same sentence, it was just wrong. But he was a man, surely there was more to him than death and taxes right?

It was part of human nature to seek out friendship. Or at least some form of interaction. God, wasn't that what she had been doing in the first place by saving his life? And Gaara was the perfect example, aside from herself she snorted, he was Kazekage now and the reason there was such a strong alliance between Suna and Konaha. If _he_ could change, so could Kakuzu right? No, no, no, no, no, this was wrong. She shouldn't try and rationalize this, she didn't want to change anyone, she just wanted to have her vacation.

Who was she kidding? He was fascinating and she had already decided in her heart that she liked him, wanted to help him. Denial would get her nowhere. She didn't want to be hurt again, but lying to herself was a surefire way of getting hurt. So then by trusting someone for once at least she would be aware when it happened. Right?

He needed her, that was a fact, and she supposed that as long as she was being honest with herself, she needed him somewhat too. Maybe this was why she had been so depressed, she was just lonely and here he was, totally dependent on her. He couldn't leave, at least for now... She was so pathetic. She had already screwed herself over and what even made her think he would be interested in her in the first place? '_Oh! I can change him! Love is the answer!'_ What a joke, get your head out of the clouds Tenten. So yet again she had given without any hope of getting. Yet again she found herself useless and at a loss. _Yet again_ silent tears were making their way down her face. Why couldn't she even control that? Why couldn't she at least keep her shame and pain to herself. Though it wasn't like she had to worry, he wouldn't say anything she was sure. He hardly spoke to her at all, even though they had been in this godforsaken tent for the last four goddamned days!!

Calm down Tenten, this too shall pass. Don't just throw it all away because you're angry and upset. What was Ino always saying? 'There are plenty of fish in the sea. You just gotta know how to reel 'em in!' Thank you Ino for that priceless bit of insight. Stop it Tenten. This was never your problem to begin with, you made it your problem and to expect anything out of it is just childish. After he's well enough he'll probably be out on his merry murdering way anyway. Just hold it together until then, don't give him a reason to think you're anymore of an idiot than he does already.

She dearly wished she had somebody to talk to, isn't that all she really wanted? Just someone who could understand. Like a mentor? Yes, not a lover, a teacher. And it wasn't like the village was so desolate and barren of shinobi that they couldn't even scrape together a couple general mentors was it? Whatever, she would just have to keep on pulling herself up by her own bootstraps, that is if she were wearing boots, but that's beside the point. "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." If she quit then she would lose everything, and how could she bring herself to lose when she had come so far already? Or to lose what she hadn't even gained yet. Maybe she could be at least friends with him.

Or more likely maybe she could use Kakuzu to her advantage, surely he knew something of value about the Akatsuki that she could use. She could at least try right? And if he gave her that deadpan look she would just say it was payment for room and board, he'd go for that. She hoped.

She knew it was an empty excuse, but she wanted something from him. She just wasn't sure of what yet. She didn't know anything. How could she touch something that didn't seem to be solid for her?

She wiped the tears from her cheeks with agitated fingers.

Then she took a deep breath and let it shudder it's way through her lungs. And then another. And then another.

~O~

He couldn't figure her out, what had she meant by not knowing what she was doing? Hadn't this all been some sort of plot to coerce information out of him? She must at least have had a vague notion of using him _somehow._ But that look in her eyes, what was that look? It was vaguely similar to the look on his victim's faces when they knew they were going to die, but he hadn't made any attempt or even talked to her unless necessary. It wasn't the same in any case. And then on top of that he had caught her repeatedly staring at him, and her looks weren't those of disgust either. What was she trying to do? Why did he even care? Why had she healed him when it was in her every best interest to kill him?

He closed his eyes in annoyance and shifted off his right leg, it hurt and it wasn't just the dull ache of pulled muscles or tendons, it felt like at least a fracture. Gingerly he touched his ankle, he was probably right, there was a lot of swelling. He would have to ask her to look at it, but he didn't want to talk to her at all. She made him nervous, since he couldn't read her. And since he couldn't read her with any certainty, he couldn't make a plan around her either. He felt somewhat trapped, he had to rely on her, especially now that his ankle might be broken, and he couldn't predict her. What if she decided to attack him? How would he know? Did she have any tells? How would he be able to tell when it seemed that her moods changed so often? Like a sputtering flame.

She had sat in front of the tent opening for the last four hours since 'breakfast' now, he had counted. He had caught her looking at him again, he had also seen what looked suspiciously like tears on her face, what in the world was running through her head? Again he felt a twinge of something clenching in his gut. Hidan had been so easy to read, so easy to handle. He had become too complacent, yet another reason he had been defeated. He grunted angrily and shifted his leg again.

Absentmindedly he began to rub his ankle, what was he going to do? He couldn't stay here with her, but he couldn't leave either. He hated being confined like this, by the rain, by his body, by _her_. But he had no choice, he hated that as well. And what was with her anyway?! Why was she so quiet? Didn't women like to chatter endlessly? What was she thinking? Was it about him? He pushed harder on his ankle as he grew more frustrated and angry and finally gasped in pain. His head whipped up as she finally turned around and looked, in turn at his face and then down his arms to his ankle. Her face was strangely calm, hadn't she been crying? What was going on? He didn't understand her at all and on top of that he had hurt himself.

"I missed that. I am so sorry, does it feel broken? Is it just sprained? How much does it hurt?"

This was another anomaly, just like the last time he could hear the concern in her voice and it wasn't shaking like she had been crying. Why did she care? Why did _he_ care. He watched her, disgruntled and annoyed, as she took out her book again and flipped through it. The sound was irritating. He found himself staring at her fingers. When she settled on a page she looked up at him expectantly. She was kneeling directly in front of him which brought her eyes directly level to his. They were so brown, like the rain-soaked dirt outside. For a moment he blanked and just stared at her face.

"Kakuzu?"

"I think it's fractured."

"Alright then, give me a moment."

She turned back to her book, her fingers were very slender but calloused he noticed. If her scroll labeled 'Weapons' was any indication she used taijutsu. He turned his head so that it looked like he was looking outside and took in her body. The way she was so little and yet there was obviously muscle under the surface. She had a delicate neck, it would be so easy to snap it in one of his hands. He took in the way her overcoat stopped just before coming to her wrists and how he could probably encircle them with only his thumb and first or middle finger. It amazed him that she was a kunoichi at all, she didn't seem to have the right build at all. But he knew from long and personal experience that appearances were deceiving.

"Ok, if it's really fractured this might take a while, but I'll be careful." She shifted so that instead of kneeling she was sitting cross-legged in front of him. "Can you put your foot in my lap?"

He paused, should he let her? He didn't think there was a problem with that, if she did anything it was just his foot and then he would kill her. Problem solved. He lifted his foot very carefully into her lap and then watched her warily as she carefully removed his sandal, one of the only articles of clothing he had left, and gently felt his ankle with her fingertips. The probing hurt but was oddly soothing at the same time. He clenched his teeth when she pushed chakra from her fingertips into his ankle, he could tell she wasn't doing anything but the intruding chakra was uncomfortable. After another minute of what he could only assume was examining she paused and grabbed her book again. It was another ten minutes of her reading and nodding to herself before she shut the book and turned to his ankle again. She probed it one more time and turned to him.

"It's a pretty big fracture, plus you've not only strained the muscle but there is a small tear too. It'll be hard but I can do it. I'll heal the tear first, I'll try to be careful."

He merely nodded and fisted his hands. He was used to pain. Her fingers glowed green and she touched her fingertips to a place near his fibula, he grunted as she began to repair the tear. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would, he concentrated on her chakra. It felt like mud hardening on his in his foot. After hardly any time at all she looked back up at him and wiped the sweat from her forehead.

"That went a lot quicker then I thought it would. All that's left is the fracture, once that's healed the swelling will go down too, but you still shouldn't walk on it." It was amusing how seriously she was taking this, her brows were furrowed and everything. He felt a compulsive need to touch her face, but he squelched it with slight alarm. Shinobi don't fall for the wiles of kunoichi, ever. Or their own emotions.

"Ok, this will be the painful part, and you might want to hold something." His gut clenched. "Basically what I'm going to do is force the bone back together and then sort of meld it. Like melting metal but not quite so... graphic. I'm sorry I'm horrible at phrasing this the right way."

He just looked at her, those eyes. He closed his eyes and nodded, he needed to get a grip on himself. He wasn't ready though. With a crunch it felt like his ankle was on fire all over again. He ground his teeth and a forced growl escaped him. He felt like strangling her but kept himself under control. He wasn't used to anyone other than himself healing him, just another bit of his control slipping away. But it hurt, was she doing it on purpose?! He slammed a fist into the ground beside him, control! Control. Breathe, one in, one out. That's better. He finally registered that she was panting, and the sweat was again rolling down her forehead.

"It... it's done!"

Her hands were still on his leg, she was leaning on him, trembling a little bit. He was startled to find he liked that weight on him and without thinking he ran his fingers through her hair. She jerked her head up and gave him a long measuring look.

"You know I was thinking about what you said earlier, about being an idiot. I think you're right."

What?

"I was also thinking about how good it was to be needed for once."

Even though it was true he found that he was slightly offended, him need her? Any other time and she would have been on her face begging for mercy. She was looking down and idly tracing patterns on her knee. He remained silent.

"This is just a onetime thing I know, but it was nice. Nobody has ever needed me before. Back at home it's almost like I don't even exist, not even my own sensei spends much time training me. It was getting to me you know? Being invisible, and I try so hard too. To be somebody that they can be proud of, to be somebody that would have no regrets. In a way it's almost like I was supposed to find you, I know better, but that's what it feels like. So I guess what I'm really trying to say is... thank you."

He was stunned, that's what she had wanted this entire time? Just to be recognized? That's why she had been so stupid? That's why she hadn't just killed him and moved on? What was this? Some kind of joke? What the hell was wrong with all these leaves?! He grasped her arm, he didn't know why he was doing it but it bothered him that she would confide all that to him. That village was screwed if they all trusted people as implicitly as she was trusting him. Him of all people. He sighed, it was better for him that way at the very least.

"Don't worry about that, strength isn't gained from having friends, you have to work for everything by yourself. It's better that way."

She looked up at him, "How is that possible? How can I learn if I'm all alone?"

He squeezed her arm mildly, "You watch."

She reached up and rested a hand on his, Konaha must be a seriously messed up place, but he found again that he liked her touch. She sighed.

"I guess to some degree you're right, but not totally. There must have been somebody that was there for you when you were growing up."

He quickly drew his hand away, he never thought about the past. It just made you weak. It didn't matter what had happened in the past, only what happened in the present and future.

She reached back for his hand. He let her take it. This future might be worth the effort of staying calm.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't polite of me." Bizarre. "Life is pretty messed up isn't it?"

You have no idea girl, no idea. He didn't usually care unless it was the name of a bounty or part of a job, but he wanted to know her name now.

"What is your name?"

She blushed, "You don't know?"

He narrowed his eyes at her, "Am I supposed to be telepathic? How should I know your name when you never told me?" Stupid girl.

"Ahahaha, uh, well, it's Tenten."

"Last name?"

"Tegatai."

He didn't know, nor recalled, anyone by that name, she must be of common birth. No matter, it wasn't like he was going to sell her. He was amused to notice that she was blushing again, why would she react like that?

She scratched her neck, a sign of unease or embarrassment, interesting. "Well, uh, you need to stay off that leg for now ok?"

"Very well Tenten." If it was even possible her blush deepened. Him? Was he affecting her? He chuckled under his breath, pleased. What strange tastes she had. Plus she was still holding his hand.

Her fingers were fidgeting within his grasp, and her hand was very warm he noted. He liked this seeming power he had over her, as well as the fact that she still hadn't pulled away. To be honest it was somewhat exciting. Even though he was old, the way people reacted and behaved towards one another wasn't, especially in regards to himself. The last time he had had a lover had been almost too long ago to remember. What was she to him? Only a handful of days and she had him excited? Not that sex was ever not exciting, but that he had cared about her problems was strange. What was this odd power that all leaves seemed to have? What made them so different besides them being both suicidal and sentimental?

That didn't matter now, what mattered was that he still had her by the hand. Before she could react, he pulled on her hand and twisted her around so that she sat in his lap. Ah, this feeling never got old. There was something so attractive about a woman's body. He wrapped one arm around her waist and one around her neck and rested his face in her hair. She still smelled like soap and musk and all she had done was let out a surprised huff of air. She wasn't fighting or squealing, interesting. He took another deep breath.

"I wonder what you got yourself into?"

"I don't know, but it's exciting."

He didn't even know what to say to that. Or why he should bother anymore in the first place. His meaning had been completely lost, did she understand nothing? Or maybe she understood all too well. He would have to find out. He let her go and she turned to face him. Her face was still red but her eyes were bright, and far more animated then he had seen them before.

"I'm going to go buy you clothes, what size are you?"

He carefully crossed his legs, testing her work, and looked at her. At those eager eyes.

"Just buy the largest size you can find."

She laughed and his breath caught. It didn't sound like bells or any kind of crap like that, it came from her gut. Kisame laughed like that, Hidan laughed... used to laugh like that. Like life wasn't hell and there was greener grass on the other side. He _would_ find out now.

"Alright. It shouldn't take me too long. I'll leave some food out for you so you don't get hungry while I'm gone."

She stood and after summoning him more of those... protein bars... strapped a small pouch to her leg and bound up her hair. He liked it better down.

"Goodbye Kakuzu!"

Hearing her tell him goodbye left an odd feeling behind and he found himself stupidly waving back at her as she disappeared into the trees.

He then remembered that he hadn't asked her to buy him a mask.


End file.
